Dirty Thirty Blog

Have you ever made a mistake? Maybe you’ve hurt someone so deeply that you convinced yourself you don’t deserve forgiveness. Maybe you’ve replayed it over and over in your head, carrying the weight of all your mistakes everywhere you go.

Well, I’m here to tell you something…

You do not need to spend the rest of your life carrying your mistakes around like a punishment.

You are allowed to grow.

You are allowed to learn.

You are allowed to become a better person.

And trust me, I never thought I’d be the person saying that.

To be completely honest, I’ve been hurt deeply in my life. So deeply that there was a time when I didn’t want the people who hurt me to forgive themselves. I wanted them to sit in that pain. I wanted them to hurt just as much as I did, maybe even more.

But the truth is, that wouldn’t have changed the outcome.

It wouldn’t have changed my past.

It wouldn’t have changed my future.

The damage had already been done, and the only person I was hurting by holding onto all that anger was myself.

So I had to learn one of the hardest lessons of my life: forgiveness.

And that includes forgiving yourself.

If you’ve hurt someone, you still deserve growth. You still deserve healing. You still deserve the opportunity to become a better version of yourself.

Not everyone will agree with that, and honestly, that’s okay.

Because if there were no second chances, there would be no good people. ( say that for the aunties in the backk)!!

Every good person you know has made mistakes.

Every strong person you know has learned lessons the hard way.

Sometimes our biggest lessons come from looking in the mirror.

Forgiving Yourself

Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean pretending the mistake didn’t happen.

It means acknowledging it.

Learning from it.

Growing from it.

It means looking at your actions honestly and saying:

“I don’t like what I did, but I refuse to let it define who I become.”

The reality is that some people may never forgive you.

And while that’s painful, they don’t have to forgive you for you to begin healing.

Their forgiveness is their journey, okay say that AGAIN…..

Their forgiveness is their journey..

Your growth is yours.

Forgiving yourself means recognizing that there is work to do. It means understanding that healing and accountability can exist at the same time.

You are worthy of being better.

Steps to Forgive Yourself

✅ Acknoledge what you need to forgive yourself for.

✅ Take responsibility for your actions without making excuses.

✅ Feel genuine remorse for the person you hurt.

✅ Allow yourself to sit with the uncomfortable feelings instead of running from them.

✅ Make amends when possible. If reconciliation isn’t possible, accept that too.

✅ Understand why you made the choices you did and take active steps to make sure you don’t repeat them.

✅ Break unhealthy cycles. Break generational curses. Do better .

✅ Believe that change is possible, even when others don’t.

✅ Focus on the future instead of living in the past.

The lesson isn’t that you’re perfect.

The lesson is that you learned.

Don’t let anyone convince you that your worst mistake is the only thing you’re made of.

People can change.

You can change.

For Those Struggling to Forgive Others

I know that when someone hurts you deeply, forgiveness is probably the last thing on your mind.

You might be thinking:

“You don’t understand what they did to me.”

And maybe you’re right.

But I do understand pain.

I understand betrayal, abandonment and much more…

I understand the kind of hurt that keeps you up at night.

The kind that changes you.

The kind that leaves you questioning your worth.

The kind that makes you wonder if you’ll ever feel whole again.

And yet, I’m still here telling you that forgiveness is possible.

Not because the other person deserves it.

Because you deserve peace.

Forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook.

It’s about refusing to let their actions continue to control your life.

If you want to forgive, you have to be willing to feel your feelings.

All of them.

The anger.

The sadness.

The shame.

The disappointment.

The grief.

The feelings that seem unbearable.

The feelings you keep trying to push away.

Feel them.

Process them.

Learn from them.

But don’t build a home there.

Those emotions were meant to teach you, not define you.

Whether you’re forgiving yourself or someone else, healing begins when you stop running from the pain and start working through it.

Steps to Forgive Others

✅ Acknowledge the hurt and allow yourself to grieve.

✅ Understand that broken people often hurt other people.

✅ Accept that forgiveness is a process, not a one-time decision.

✅ Remember that forgiveness benefits your well-being and your peace.

✅ Understand that forgiveness does not mean what happened was okay.

✅ Recognize that another person’s actions are a reflection of them, not your worth.

✅ Be willing to let go of resentment little by little.

✅ Allow yourself to be vulnerable again when you’re ready.

✅ Don’t forget to forgive yourself too.

Forgiveness takes patience.

It takes grace.

It takes courage.

And it takes accepting one simple truth:

None of us are perfect.

Being human means making mistakes, getting hurt, healing, growing, and trying again.

Forgiveness changes your heart.

And when your heart changes, your life changes too.

Learning to forgive others will set you free.

Learning to forgive yourself will too.

So give yourself some grace.

You’re still becoming who you’re meant to be. ❤️