Dirty Thirty Blog

HOW TO RECLAIM YOUR WORTH!

August 18, 2025
Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself & Start Choosing You!

Let me just say, healing is not linear, and it’s definitely not easy. It’s messy, emotional, and honestly, sometimes it feels like you’re stuck on step one forever. But that’s okay. That’s normal. I want to walk you through the steps that helped me start healing the raw, real, and sometimes uncomfortable stuff that actually works. This is your sign to choose yourself for real this time.

1. Accept What Happened (Even If It Sucks)

This one’s the hardest. And no, it’s not a one and done type of thing. You’ll probably circle back to this step a few times and that’s okay.

Accepting what happened means saying, “Yeah, this situation hurt me. It made me sad, angry, confused all of it.” But here’s the key: you don’t let it define you!

Accepting doesn’t mean you’re cool with what happened. It just means you’re ready to stop living in that pain. You feel the emotions when they come up, cry when you’re sad, be mad when you’re angry and then you let them pass. Feel it all, and then let it go. And when it shows up again? You accept again. That’s healing.

2. Nurture Yourself Like You Would a Hurt Child

After you’ve felt all the emotions, it’s time to comfort yourself. Seriously treat yourself like you would a little kid who just got hurt. You wouldn’t tell a kid to “suck it up” so don’t do that to yourself either.

Nurturing yourself doesn’t mean drinking it away or pretending you’re fine. It means doing something healthy that makes you feel even a little bit better. Go for a walk, try yoga, take a nap, buy yourself that little treat, dance in your room, hit the gym, journal it out, light a candle and just sit in silence. This step is about showing up for you.

3. Get Out of the House (Seriously, Go Outside)

When you’re healing, being alone in your thoughts for too long can make it worse. You don’t need to have it all together to go outside. Just go. Fresh air does something to the soul.

Try a new hobby, sign up for a random class, go to a game or an event, download that app (safely of course) and meet new people. Even just a conversation with a stranger at a coffee shop can shift your energy. You’re not meant to do life alone.

4. Make a Dream Board (Even If You Have No Idea What You Want Yet)

Sometimes when life knocks you down, you forget who you were and where you were going. Or maybe you didn’t know yet and that’s okay too. Pain has this weird way of pushing us to discover things we didn’t even know we needed.

So get a piece of paper or a whiteboard or whatever you’ve got and start dreaming again. What do you want in a year? Five years? And if all you want is to stop feeling this way, that’s valid. Write that down. Be real with your goals, and go after them one baby step at a time.

5. Therapy Isn’t Just for Rock Bottom

Let’s be real. A lot of people wait until they’re absolutely drowning to go to therapy but you don’t have to hit rock bottom to get help.

Therapists aren’t there to judge you. They’re there to help you figure out the messy stuff even the stuff you didn’t know was affecting you. Maybe that pain you’re carrying isn’t just about this one situation maybe it’s connected to something way deeper. Talking it out with someone who’s trained to help? That’s powerful. And honestly… a game changer.

6. Learn What Choosing Yourself Really Looks Like

This one. Whew. It’s big.

Choosing yourself means being a little selfish. And I know if you’re a people pleaser like I was, this feels wrong. But listen: you’ve spent enough time putting others first. Now it’s your turn.

It looks like saying “no.” It looks like not tolerating behavior that hurts you. It’s speaking up when someone crosses a line even if it’s something small like your coffee order being wrong or someone making a comment that didn’t sit right.

Choosing yourself is about setting boundaries and not feeling bad for it. It’s about saying:
- “I don’t like how that made me feel.”
- “Please don’t say that to me again.”
- “This relationship isn’t helping me grow.”
The more you practice, the easier it gets. You teach people how to treat you and now, you’re teaching them that you come first.

7. Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself (And Use the Pain as Fuel)

I say this with love: stop giving your power away. I know it’s easy to fall into the “why me?” trap. Trust me, I’ve been there. But staying there won’t change anything.

Instead, try this: say “yes, this happened to me but it’s not going to be the reason I stop living.” Use that pain. Let it light a fire in you. You don’t need to be saved. You are your own savior.

Some days will be hard. Some will feel like you’re starting over. But you just take it one day at a time. Keep going. Keep fighting. Because the truth is…

You Are So Damn Worthy of a Better Life

Even if you don’t feel it yet. Even if you’re still hurting. You are worthy of more. You are worthy of love, peace, joy, and everything good. It’s not going to be easy, but it will be worth it.

Keep choosing yourself again and again and live the life you have always wanted to live

You’ve got this. 💛
Living Through Betrayal (Reclaiming Your Worth One Day at a Time)

August 14, 2025

Betrayal doesn’t just break your trust, it shatters your soul. It’s not just an emotional wound it’s a physical one too. The kind of hurt that punches you in the stomach, leaves you gasping for air, and makes you question your worth. When you’ve been betrayed, the world stops making sense, and nothing feels real anymore. The magic you once believed in is gone, and you’re left with a numbness that fills your days, making everything feel dull and distant.

The brutal reality of betrayal is that it doesn’t just knock you down it throws you into a deep, dark hole. When you finally hit the bottom and start to accept that things are never going to be the same, you have to find a way out. But the hardest part? You have to do it alone.

Surviving the Fallout: The Fight for Your Life

It’s human nature to want to survive. When betrayal hits, it shakes you to your core, but you fight anyway. You fight to feel something other than the crushing weight of worthlessness. You fight to feel alive, to escape the numbness.

Your body goes into shock, your mind starts to distort what’s real and what isn’t. In those moments, you don’t just grieve the person who hurt you , you grieve a part of yourself. Your body and mind become disconnected, and nothing feels stable anymore. The feeling of being betrayed isn’t just emotional it’s physical. Gasping for air, the heart-pounding, the confusion, it’s like the world is collapsing around you, and you can’t make sense of any of it.

I remember the day it all fell apart for me. It felt like being punched in the stomach. I could barely catch my breath. My mind was racing, trying to figure out what I had done wrong, what I had missed. I couldn’t understand how the world had shifted under my own feet. It felt like the ground beneath me had vanished, leaving me alone and drowning in doubt.

The pain hit so hard, I thought I wouldn’t survive it. I felt alone, abandoned. And suddenly, an old wound from when my parents left came rushing back. The betrayal felt like a trigger, awakening everything I thought I’d buried. It was like being dropped into the past again, in the same lonely place i was once left at. It solidified that i deserved what was happening to me because i had felt this feeling of unworthiness before.

The Unseen Struggle: No One Knows You’re Drowning

When you’re betrayed, it feels like no one can see you. like you are drowning, and no one is trying to save you. The lies, the deceit, the fake smiles it’s all so overwhelming. And in the midst of it all, you’re begging for help, for mercy, but you hear nothing. You feel abandoned all over again, by the people you wouldn’t expect. You no longer have a safe space.

The pain you feel can make you desperate for validation. You want everyone to know what’s happened to you, even if they don’t understand. It’s tempting to word-vomit your hurt, to lash out, to make them see you but in the end, it only leaves you feeling worse.

Pain can make you do ugly things. It can turn you into someone you don’t recognize, and it can cause more pain for others. I’ll be honest, there were days when I didn’t know how to cope, how to stay calm, how to hold onto my dignity. I wanted to scream, to expose the truth, to make people understand my pain. But with time, I’ve learned that this doesn’t heal you it only prolongs the pain. It feeds the pain.

Four Years Later: The Lingering Pain of Betrayal

It’s been four years since I went through that betrayal, and while it doesn’t sting as badly as it did in the beginning, I can’t lie and say that it goes away, it does get better though. The start is the hardest part, and some days, that pain still resurfaces when I least expect it. Betrayal is a grief unlike any other. It’s like mourning someone who’s still alive. The pain lingers, and sometimes it feels like it’s always with you, waiting to make an appearance when you’re most vulnerable.

But there’s a truth that I’ve learned, No one is coming to save you. Only you can save yourself.

not even the people that hurt you can save you, because no apology in the world can undo the harm.

The pain will always be a part of me, but it doesn’t have to define me. What people did to me says more about them than it does about me. Their actions were a reflection of their own struggles, insecurities, and choices. And though that doesn’t make it hurt any less, it’s a piece of clarity that has helped me let go of the need for revenge or validation.

There are still days when I drive, and the weight of it all crashes down on me. Something about the open road and the solitude of nature makes me feel vulnerable. But it also reminds me that I’ve made it this far. I’m still here. I’m still breathing. And that is something worth holding onto.

Finding Hope: Reclaiming Your Worth

It’s easy to let your mind trick you into believing you’re unworthy, that you’ll never heal, and that you’ll never feel whole again. But you are worthy. You are valuable. Don’t let the actions of others convince you otherwise.

you will slowly start to love and trust yourself again,

Even on the hardest days, show up for yourself. Try new things, meet new people, do things that make you feel alive. Even if it’s just watching a movie by yourself and falling in love with your own company, small moments like this can help rebuild what was broken.

The healing journey is yours. You can’t control what others do to you, but you can control how you respond. And that choice, that decision to keep fighting, to keep moving forward, that is what will save you. It won’t be easy. Some days, it will feel impossible. But you have it within you to survive, to thrive, to reclaim your peace.

You are stronger than you think. Keep fighting.

gigi
Why You Should Visit This Popular Breakfast Place!

November 11, 2024

This breakfast spot offers a delightful blend of Mexican and American cuisine, characterized by a modern atmosphere. The seating area is the back is a very intimate bar section, providing a unique view of the cooks at work. While the restaurant can get busy, the wait is worth it. The Greek Skillet, featuring onions, spinach, peppers, Feta, Cheddar, and avocado, priced at $10.99 is my personal favorite. Overall, the establishment is praised for its affordability and rich flavors, complemented by a friendly and professional staff that enhances the dining experience.

Make sure to check out the rest of the menu, their pancakes and French toast are one of a kind!
Forgiveness: The Path to Self-Acceptance

November 4, 2024
have you ever made a mistake? maybe you hurt someone so bad that you don’t think you deserved to be forgiven. Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t need hang those mistakes over your head your entire life. You can become a better person and learn from your mistakes, because we are only human. To be transparent with you I can’t believe I am saying all of this because I have been hurt so deeply in my past that I did not want the people in my past to forgive themselves. I wanted them to hurt just as much or more than the pain they caused me but in the end that wouldn’t Alter the past and it wouldn’t change my future because what had happened already did, and I needed to forgive so that I can start to heal. Same Thing for you, if you have hurt someone you deserve to forgive yourself, and you deserve growth. Not everyone can agree but if there were no second chances and forgiveness, there would be no good people. Sometimes our biggest lesson is ourselves.

forgiving yourself means that you are Learning from your mistakes and that will be a crucial step for your personal growth. you can become a better person by Acknowledging your mistakes and learning from them. Most people probably won’t forgive you but the reality of it is that they don’t need to forgive you in order for you to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself for hurting others, means you are acknowledging that there is inner healing and growth that needs to happen. You are worthy of being better.

steps to take when you want to forgive yourself
1. Identify the events or behaviors you wish to forgive yourself for.
2. Take responsibility for the behaviors you took in the situation.
3. Accept and experience and show remorse towards the person you hurt. (they can choose to accept it).
4. pay attention to your thoughts and feelings here (feel your feelings).
5. Make amends if there are any by apologizing sometimes you won’t be able to make amends and accept that.
6. Understand why you made the choices you did and take steps so that you don’t do them again. (Break generational curses.)
7. you can change, you can be better. even if people don’t believe it, you are worthy of growth.
Put your focus on what you want the future to look like, leave the past behind you. The important lesson here is that you learned, and you are better than you were. don’t allow anyone to hold your past over your head. You can change.

For the people that are struggling to forgive, I know that when someone hurts you so deeply the last thing on your mind is forgiveness. you probably think that you don’t have it in you to forgive. I’m here to tell you it is possible to forgive and that if you think that you can’t forgive, I am also here to tell you that forgiving can set you free, and it can give you a brand-new heart and outlook on life. if you want to forgive, you have to be willing to understand your pain and feel your feelings so that you can accept what was, what is and what can be. You have to feel the feelings that are unbearable, the ones that make you feel like you don’t want to live anymore. The ones that make you feel shame. These feeling are not meant to stay; they are meant to show us that we can be better. They are meant to show us our worth. Whether you are forgiving yourself or forgiving another individual forgiveness is possible.

Steps to forgive others.
1. acknowledge that you have been hurt and grieve the pain.
2. understand that everyone is broken and has past hurts. (Hurt people, hurt people)
3. accept that forgiveness is a process, it won’t happen over night .
4. understand that forgiveness is for your wellbeing and your health.
5. understanding that forgiveness does not mean that you are saying it is okay they hurt you.
6. understanding that their actions have nothing to do with you. (don’t confuse this with self-work though, we can all improve.)
7. Be willing to let go of the emptions and be vulnerable
8. don’t forget to forgive yourself.
forgiveness takes patients, grace to oneself and understanding that imperfection is a shared human experience. forgiveness is all about changing your heart.

And learning to forgive others will set you free.

give yourself grace.
Seeing Others Through God’s Glory: A Journey to Empathy

October 21, 2024

I went through a tough time in my life. A time where I was not the best version of myself. And it reflected by the way that I expressed myself with and towards others.

The judging phase in my early 20’s as I like to call it. it consisted of wasting my energy on negative comments about other people, and always having an opinion about them. (I was a miserable Ass bitch) ha-ha I can laugh now because I have accepted my faults and changed.

Allow me to give you some examples. I would be walking in the mall and noticing people’s physical appearances and making negative comments about them. making comments about people’s personality traits also would be something I justified.

I didn’t realize that was a direct reflection of how I felt about myself. I didn’t even realize that I was being negative because it seemed normal to me. I just did it. I made the negative comments. And I always backed it up with well that is my personal opinion, and I am entitled to it. You know the thing society preaches to the world so that they can make us feel better about being assholes? Well yes, we are entitled to our opinion, but I started asking myself at what cost? because it was not to make me a better person. It was actually the complete opposite. It was a direct reflection of how I felt about me. And given that it was always negative, well that says a lot about how I felt towards myself. I realized that i was very insecure and it helped me to focus on everyone else but me.

In my mid 20’s I really started working on my self-love journey. I was going to the gym, started a business and accomplished all the goals on my dream board. I was on top of the world. But I still had some learning to do. I had to learn how to be more empathetic, more patient and more understanding. And that it was not my place to share my negative opinions about their life. it was none of my business. I still had to learn how to stay in my lane. And i had to learn how to be empathetic and self- aware.

steps that helped me become self-aware, were 1. accepting that i was being punitive, rude and negative. Accept that i had an ego and that having an ego would only damage me in a long run. I had to forgive myself for the negativity that i had brought to my own life. and i had to change my perspective, it is so easy to think negativity about others based of our perspectives. so, I decided to be curious instead. seeking to understand the reasoning behind people’s actions sounded so stupid until I actually did it. It all made sense.

Friends would encourage the behavior and say well gi gi you are entitled to your own personal opinion. They would also simply agree with me, you know just to validate my behavior. I wanted to work on being a better person. The reality though is I am not a good person; I am human, and I make mistakes. I wanted to work on being a kinder person. I wanted to work on being so confident and self-assured that I radiated that to others. i was done feeling superior, and letting my ego take over. I wanted to change and i wanted to give people grace, patients, love and grace.

It wasn’t until I went through a really hard situation in my life. that is when I realized that I wanted to be better. Maybe because I knew that there were not enough people like that around. maybe because I finally realized that I wanted to be better and do better.

I started asking myself why am I so bitter? Does their life concern me? And if it is about me, is it something I can control? Why am I allowing these small things to run my life after what I’ve been through? Why am I allowing these negative thoughts to take up space in my head? I had to dig myself out of a hole. And also fighting the urge to be like everyone else after being treated so poorly by others.

and maybe that was it! maybe that was my motivation. Being an example of what wanted in my life all along. instead of joining the misery and the negativity i wanted a different outcome. I no longer wanted to be what people wanted me to be. I wanted to understand people. i wanted to be empathetic .i wanted to take the time to understand others. I already knew that other behaviors had nothing to do with me. So, I stopped taking things so personal. I knew that because of how i use to feel, that their actions had nothing to do with me. It was all a direct reflection of how they felt about themselves.

i also had to forgive the people in my past. Something i know not a lot of people do. People tend to cling to bitterness and the past. i was so sick of being hurt by just the thought of the past. i thought about how i would feel. You know to mess up, and want to do better but all people ever thought about me was my past. i made it my goal to give second chances. and it was too painful to at least forgive and move on. I did not do this alone though. I prayed every day to God. I asked him to help me see people the way he sees me every day. I asked him to guide me to a path of forgiveness because he forgives me every day. I asked him to guide me to be loving, graceful. I also asked him to help me work through my pain because i know that with pain comes strength.

I started to focus on all the small things. I also started to be more self-aware of my thoughts and feelings. This was super helpful when my brain wanted to re- visit the past memories and pain peopled caused. with time i learned to be strong. I learned that it takes more effort to be mad, bitter and judgmental than to just release and grow.

if you find yourself being judgmental about someone, ask yourself why you feel that way? ask yourself if this is something you do not value. and re-direct your focus on something positive.

something that we all forget is that no one is perfect. sometime in your life you have hurt someone. Maybe not the same way someone hurt you. And maybe not the same way someone else hurt your loved one. But it happened. there is no scale to pain. like there is no scale to sins or mistakes.

God see’s us for what is inside our hearts, all of his Disciples were sinners who chose to do better. Always remember that. Jesus gave us all free will to do better as long as we chose better.

When you truly love yourself, you learn to love others. Learn that by being graceful you can learn so much more from people. we don’t get to choose where we are born. And we don’t get to choose the family we are born in. some of us weren’t taught better. That is why we continue cycles of abuse, of judgment and so much more. someone in our lives taught us it was okay and normal to do the things we do. You don’t have to be bitter, i want you to know that you don’t have to be angry. You can let it go. You can be better and set you free because you have

Freewill

continue to love others the way god loves you.

Luke 6:37 “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.