Dirty Thirty Blog

have you ever made a mistake? maybe you hurt someone so bad that you don’t think you deserved to be forgiven. Well, I’m here to tell you that you don’t need hang those mistakes over your head your entire life. You can become a better person and learn from your mistakes, because we are only human. To be transparent with you I can’t believe I am saying all of this because I have been hurt so deeply in my past that I did not want the people in my past to forgive themselves. I wanted them to hurt just as much or more than the pain they caused me but in the end that wouldn’t Alter the past and it wouldn’t change my future because what had happened already did, and I needed to forgive so that I can start to heal. Same Thing for you, if you have hurt someone you deserve to forgive yourself, and you deserve growth. Not everyone can agree but if there were no second chances and forgiveness, there would be no good people. Sometimes our biggest lesson is ourselves.

forgiving yourself means that you are Learning from your mistakes and that will be a crucial step for your personal growth. you can become a better person by Acknowledging your mistakes and learning from them. Most people probably won’t forgive you but the reality of it is that they don’t need to forgive you in order for you to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself for hurting others, means you are acknowledging that there is inner healing and growth that needs to happen. You are worthy of being better.

steps to take when you want to forgive yourself

1. Identify the events or behaviors you wish to forgive yourself for.
2. Take responsibility for the behaviors you took in the situation.
3. Accept and experience and show remorse towards the person you hurt. (they can choose to accept it).
4. pay attention to your thoughts and feelings here (feel your feelings).
5. Make amends if there are any by apologizing sometimes you won’t be able to make amends and accept that.
6. Understand why you made the choices you did and take steps so that you don’t do them again. (Break generational curses.)
7. you can change, you can be better. even if people don’t believe it, you are worthy of growth.

Put your focus on what you want the future to look like, leave the past behind you. The important lesson here is that you learned, and you are better than you were. don’t allow anyone to hold your past over your head. You can change.

For the people that are struggling to forgive, I know that when someone hurts you so deeply the last thing on your mind is forgiveness. you probably think that you don’t have it in you to forgive. I’m here to tell you it is possible to forgive and that if you think that you can’t forgive, I am also here to tell you that forgiving can set you free, and it can give you a brand-new heart and outlook on life. if you want to forgive, you have to be willing to understand your pain and feel your feelings so that you can accept what was, what is and what can be. You have to feel the feelings that are unbearable, the ones that make you feel like you don’t want to live anymore. The ones that make you feel shame. These feeling are not meant to stay; they are meant to show us that we can be better. They are meant to show us our worth. Whether you are forgiving yourself or forgiving another individual forgiveness is possible.

Steps to forgive others.

1. acknowledge that you have been hurt and grieve the pain.
2. understand that everyone is broken and has past hurts. (Hurt people, hurt people)
3. accept that forgiveness is a process, it won’t happen over night .
4. understand that forgiveness is for your wellbeing and your health.
5. understanding that forgiveness does not mean that you are saying it is okay they hurt you.
6. understanding that their actions have nothing to do with you. (don’t confuse this with self-work though, we can all improve.)
7. Be willing to let go of the emptions and be vulnerable
8. don’t forget to forgive yourself.

forgiveness takes patients, grace to oneself and understanding that imperfection is a shared human experience. forgiveness is all about changing your heart.

And learning to forgive others will set you free.

give yourself grace.